Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Epic Fail!!!

Thank God for grace....really.  Today I woke up without any motivation.  I was exhausted....didn't want to wake up kids, and certainly didn't want to take them to the park for school today like I promised. I tried to talk the kids into going on another day, but they declined.... so, I fulfilled my promise.  It took me a while to decide which park, too.  We talked about it, and I was going to try something different from our usual, but I remembered that people from our group sometimes go on Tuesday, and I didn't want everyone, myself included, to be distracted.  So, we packed up, and went to Subway (yeah for $5.00 turkey footlongs!), and then headed to the park...  The entire time I was trying to remember all the things I had to be grateful for, and trying not to remember all the times I was short tempered and barked at my children just this morning...

Enter here our arrival at the park.... I did check the weather before we left.  It was supposed to be a nice day, 10% chance rain, only 60% humidity (which is good for FL!), and sunny.  Well, the sun wasn't to be found. There were clouds everywhere. In fact as we drove over the bridge, I saw rain off in the distance.  I was, well, a little concerned, but hey, I'm a trooper, right?! So, we unpacked, me still extremely grumpy and trying desperately to be thankful and happy.  Trying desperately, but failing miserably! I was so tired that it seemed like work to keep my eyes open.  It was certainly work to keep my voice sounding kind and saying kind things, and was just too hard, and I failed at that over and over.  I did manage to find things to write in our Thankfulness Journals, but it was hard to mean it... I was glad to be able to take the kids to the park, but with the amount of wind we were experiencing, I was immensely frustrated.  We couldn't keep the tablecloth down...even with tying off the ends. We couldn't keep our Bible papers in one place.  I apologized to the kids for the frustration, for my grumpiness, for being mean and ugly, for not practicing self control... oh the list goes on...

That's why today I'm thankful for grace.  I was awful to my children.  I tried to just not talk so I wouldn't blow it again.  When the rain started sprinkling down, I apologized and just told the kids I couldn't do it anymore...while it would probably blow over and not amount to anything, (and I don't think it did) I needed to go home.  They agreed.... on the way home I stopped at DQ and got them ice cream cones as a means of reconciliation.  I went straight to bed...the girls put the food away and Bean Boys finished his school.  But when I was on the way to bed, Little Bit said, "You're the best mom ever, even when you're grumpy!"  I'm sure it was the ice cream talking, but I'm still so thankful for grace.

There were many moments today of which I am not proud.  But, there are even more moments that are memorable in a good way.  The best memory, while humbling, is of the kids forgiving their cranky mommy!  I'm thankful that despite my crankiness they still think I'm a great mom, I disagree, but I'm thankful for their perspective!  I'm thankful that tomorrow is a new day and I can start again trying to speak kind words and lifting my children up instead of tearing them down. I'm thankful that God has promised to forgive me for treating his children poorly. I'm thankful His mercies are new every morning!

Did you know you could do math in a tube? 

You can see the girls' hair blowing like crazy...this was after we moved behind the trees to try to block the wind a little!

It was actually chilly with all the wind...those two snuggled while we had our Bible lesson.  See the blowing hair?
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2 comments:

  1. Real, raw and honest. Thankyou for sharing. I am glad to have stumbled across your blog through Time-Warp Wife. I have had days like that too....LOTS. <3

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    1. Thanks so much! You brought a smile to this girl's face! I'm happy to report that today was MUCH, MUCH, MUCH better! We caught up with school (finishing today and yesterday's lessons) made it to gymnastics, and still had time for fun things. Isn't God good?!

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